As imagined by Jeremy Nilson and me.
Dave, can you step
into my office for a minute? Close the door behind you. Thanks.
We need to address
this "Hoth problem". You've been participating in our fun little
intra-office Star Wars trivia game for some time. But your answer to Thursday's
question, "What is Hoth covered with?", was beyond the pale.
You said "lava
and rocks".
Lava. And rocks.
I know what you're going to say, and as much
as I'd like to accept that confusing Hoth with some bullshit planet from the
prequels is an honest mistake, you and I know that this isn't an isolated
incident.
I don't need to bring up the time you said you
were doing a "Darth Mader" impression, both alarming and confusing
the other employees.
We should have been suspicious when you
dressed as Jar Jar for Halloween, but we turned a blind eye, to our regret.
And please, for the love of God, stop saying
"your father I am" in a Yoda voice. Yoda didn't say that, and the
fact that you stand on that hill to die should have tipped us off to all of
this months ago.
We've decided that we're going in a different
direction than a "lava and rocks Hoth" worldview that you seem to
believe in. Please clean out your desk and your Nute Gunray cardboard cutout.
